Last week I received an email from a holiday card website about my recent order. Typically I’d scan such an email and then file it quickly for future reference if needed.  This time I did a double take. Here’s the message with a few thoughts on why it worked:

Create great expectations with just the right words

“This is just a quick little note to let you know that I have completed your order and submitted it for printing. As you may know, our designers work on every single order with care instead of sending them straight from the computer to our presses.”

This company packs a punch within two sentences to set the tone of our relationship. The familiar voice caught my attention. I didn’t know the designers were so hands-on with the product. That’s a nice reminder, making me wonder about the competitors I had considered before placing the order.

“To help ensure that your finished product looks great, I have reviewed your photo(s) to ensure they will print well, reviewed the layout of the design to best suit your personalized order and proofread the text for grammar and spelling.”

This is where I saw the designer at work, checklist in hand, looking at my photo and layout with genuine care. I could picture people, not machines, processing my order.

“Thank you for entrusting xxx with your special moment. We hope you love the finished product as much as we do!”

With four sentences in a routine yet thoughtfully constructed note, the company built my expectations for a superior product. Upon opening the box I could see they delivered.

I placed another order. I bet they’re not surprised.

There’s no doubt message development is a vital skill in every marketer’s toolkit. Well-constructed messages communicate business strategy, inspire the workforce and drive sales. The process of assembling a strategic message appears simple, yet all too often every brand attribute, solution and market differentiator is bundled into a jumble of words that fails to stick. Another lost opportunity to connect with the intended audience.

LEARN – Law 4. “Knowledge makes everything simpler.”

This year I hit the books to refresh my research on best practices in message development. This body of research is the foundation of a training program I originally created for the marketing communications practice of a global consulting firm. Over the years this training program has been streamlined. The models have become simpler, yet I found the core principles of message development remain unchanged:  Clarity, consistency and credibility are essential if you want your message to be heard.

To update the research I compiled a list of 11 favored references, both old and new, to help address this ongoing dilemma. At the top of the list is:

The Laws of Simplicity (Design, Technology, Business, Life) by John Maeda

The MIT Press, 2006

John Maeda is the founder of the SIMPLICITY Consortium at the MIT Media Lab.  He’s a graphic designer, visual artist and computer scientist who developed a helpful construct for distilling complex concepts into simple imperatives. He offers Ten Laws and Three Keys to achieve Simplicity (otherwise known as Sanity!).

REDUCE – Law 1 – “The simplest way to achieve simplicity is through thoughtful reduction.”

Creating messages is like that trick we use in packing for a trip: Lay out everything you think you need — clothing, shoes, accessories, toiletries. And then pack half.  Or less. Once you’re on the trip, you’ll never miss the rest. So it goes with messages. Strip out all the superfluous words. Keep the essential, memorable phrases. You end up with a stronger message, just enough to get your point across.

How simple is that?

“It’s profoundly important that every single American child should leave school knowing how to cook 10 recipes that will save their lives.”

Jamie Oliver

As someone who loves to cook, my first reaction was to consider if I even had 10 recipes that fit the goal. As a message consultant, I was enthralled with dissecting the statement.  Known for Food Network appearances and several popular cookbooks, Jamie Oliver was at the podium for winning the 2010 TED prize for his grassroots campaign against obesity.

Several phrases in Jamie’s quote point to a much larger story about his mission to inspire people to change the way they eat. I decided to break down the sentence to see how Jamie made such an impact with just a few words:

• “profoundly important” – a declaration. It’s the set-up to the value of what’s to follow.
• “every single American child” – the target audience. He wants every parent or guardian to take heed of his words.
• “leave school”- timeliness.  The clock is ticking. Start counting the years to graduation and that’s the amount of time to learn those recipes.
• “how to cook 10 recipes” – specific call to action. Jamie proposes a task that demands attention.
• “save their lives” – emotional appeal. Jamie brings the sentence full circle to his heart-felt mission.

Every speaker strives to be memorable.  Packing a sentence with phrases that point to a more robust story is a good way to keep your listeners engaged.

There’s hope, yet. What about the first few words that tumble from your mouth when faced with that proverbial ice-breaker: “What do you do?” As Daniel Pink notes in his new book about motivation, it’s all about figuring out what’s driving you. He asks: WHAT’S YOUR SENTENCE? Well, that’s not so easy, you snort. Think again.

The way I see it, “What do you do?” is really three questions in one. Consider the answers to all three to help you build YOUR SENTENCE:

What do you do? Why do you do it? How does it make a difference?

I know I’ve botched this in the past. ”What do you do?” I’ve been asked at networking functions. ”I’m a communications consultant.” Pause. “Oh, so you fix phone systems?”  Oops.  Let’s take another look.

A CEO answers the question as part of a marketing presentation.

“We manage an artisanal brand that is ‘found’ by people who appreciate the quality of our product.” YES!

A stay-at-home mom chats with a stranger at a cocktail party.

“I’m raising the next generation.” BINGO!

When someone asks “What do you do?” take the opportunity to respond with a sentence that represents your passion and impact. Move like a kick-boxer. Sway and jab. Don’t just answer the question. Surprise them with a verbal punch that brings them back for more.

Footnote #1: Listed #5 in the 64 books on elevator pitches in amazon.com is one of my all-time faves: How to Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds or Less. The book was written in 1990. We may have only 10 seconds or less to snare someone’s attention these days, but Milo Frank’s thinking is timeless.

Footnote#2: What do I do?  I help organizations get their story straight!